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Thirteen Murphy Laws For Frequent Flyers

1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the gate before its closes.

2. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.

4. Flights never leave from Gate 1 at any terminal in the world.

5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.

6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

7. The passenger sitting inside to you has a weak bladder.

8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.

9. Another middle seat problem. If identical twins are flying you can be sure they will be assigned seating either side of you.

10 The less carryon luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carryon luggage passengers will bring aboard.

11 You have seen all the films before, or if not the one you fancy either breaks down in the middle or is just about to reach the climax when the system closes down for the landing.

12. There is nothing on the menu that you fancy except the one item that has gone before the cabin service reaches you.

13. And finally when you do make it to the rest room it is engaged, the cabin staff then reminding you that under the new regulations queuing is forbidden. You are beaten to the door next time around!

0607

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